We had our first snowfall here the other day. I have lived in the Wisco Disco all my life. Snow in November is not new. We don’t get it as often as we did when I was a kiddo, but it happens. It was a mess that morning, and as usual, nobody could remember how to drive. Good times on the morning commute, as reports of accidents rolled in. As the day progressed, it got a little more gross out, then it stopped, and it all started to melt. By the time I went home, the roads and sidewalks were mostly dry, and the only snow left was the little clumps from the chumps that had actually shoveled instead of waiting it out like I did. The next day, I was joking with people that stopped in the office, asking what was the point of that snow, if it was just going to melt right away? What a waste of energy! And we laughed, and went on with our lives.
What a waste of energy. I got to thinking about all the wasteful energy out there. I am not talking about leaving the TV on for your pet while you are gone for the day. I am thinking about the way we waste our energy on negativity. I realize nobody can be positive at all times, people that project that are usually faking it, in my opinion. When they get away from people, they probably deal with some dark shit. But there are people out there that are just negative at nearly every moment of their day. Now that is a waste of energy, to only see the dark or bad in nearly every situation. It must be exhausting.
I think I have mentioned at some point that I took a Dale Carnegie course when I was younger. Like in my early to mid 20s. That was likely too young to appreciate the whole thing, the process and the message. But the thing that stuck with me for many years are the Three “Cs” to avoid. Don’t Criticize, Condemn or Complain. That was one of the Golden Rules of the Dale Carnegie Course. It is a difficult one to adhere to, as I am sure you can imagine. I am guilty of all 3 of them at times. But, it stays in the back of my mind. When you look at successful people, and kind of get to the root of their success, they do very little of the Three Cs. It’s kind of critical to achieving goals, when you get right down to it.
Also, old Dale teaches another of the ones I like to use in life. It’s useful in a lot of ways: Think of the worst case scenario, and improve upon it. So, what is the worst thing that can happen in a situation, and what can you do to make that not happen. Negative thinking has no place in a scenario like that, even at the worst possible outcome stage. It really promotes some critical thinking, and that has helped many times in life. I know the Dale Carnegie is based for business purposes, but Dale, buddy, you were on it! You had a lot of good stuff figured out without having internet or anything!
That course didn’t save me completely from negative thinking. There are a lot of bad things that happen in life, and you can’t always see things in a positive light. Dark days happen. But when they do, you have a choice to wallow in that darkness, or to reach out to find a light switch. There are plenty of things that have happened in my life to make me have to dig my way out. Some were things outside of my control, and some things I just screwed up on my own.
All of this kind of came to me recently, because I know a couple of people who are just kind of miserable in their existence, and they choose to stay in that place. They are so negative, and their toxic ways keep spilling on to other people. It got me thinking of how unwilling they are to seek happiness, or anything positive. How do you even function from such darkness all the time? Swimming in the deep end of Lake Criticize, Condemn and Complain has to just be exhausting!
Beyond just making an effort to be more present in positive vibes, I have found a meditation app that has helped a ton. After losing a couple of friends in recent years, I needed something that was going to keep me out of that hole, that dark pit. I had tried some meditation stuff in my early 30s and it didn’t stick. Again, I was probably too immature at that stage to take it seriously. To do it only once in a great while isn’t really going to find you that peace you want. It isn’t truly an instant gratification thing, like a band-aid on a stab wound. It’s like anything you want to become proficient at, you need to practice regularly. I got in the habit, stuck with it, and I feel more inner peace and happiness as a result. I am not always a ray of sunshine, I have my moments just like anyone does, but I come out of that negative place much more willingly than I used to. I don’t want to be viewed as a toxic person, like the folks I mentioned above. This is what I found to help build upon what Dale Carnegie dropped on me when I was too young to realize what was going on.
If you find yourself in the dark place, the negative vortex, I can tell you there is a positive place to go, but you have to want to improve yourself. There is therapy, meditation, exercise, yoga, all kinds of things. I have tried a little of all of them, and I like to think I am in a better place than I was even 5 years ago. Yesterday was the sad six year anniversary of losing my dear friend, Papi, and that was probably my biggest loss other than my parents and stepbrothers dying. It hit me real hard, and I had to do a lot for myself to not slip into that dark cavern of depression. That journey took me to a more spiritual place, and helped keep him with me instead of just feeling like a lost soul.
It’s possible to not be a negative drain on yourself and those around you. If you need help, it’s there, and if you want to improve your quality of life, find that thing and keep practicing to be more positive, and it will come to you. Not to be too cliche or anything, but this seems like a good spot for this: Namaste
Coco's Veiw of the World 