Live, Laugh, Love

Don’t let that title fool you. This isn’t that, really. My years of service industry work have given me all of these things, but usually not all at once. But what it has given me is a slightly jaded view of a certain type of person, and my fellow industry people have named her, and apparently she has found out and isn’t happy about it. Karen. Karen would like to speak to the manager about us recognizing her as a Karen.

This has been a thing for a couple of years, and it has been therapeutic for servers and bartenders all over. They named her, the lady with the high maintenance hairstyle, the expired coupons, and manager in her sights for a good talking to. I wish I knew who gave her the name, Karen, and how long it really took to recognize her as that person. We all knew who she was, she has a uniform of sorts, and an attitude that is tough to miss. She is usually in her 30s-40s. Her kids are old enough she can go out without them, and is out with her like-minded friends. We all know who she is, we all have a Karen in our lives. She likely has a “Live, Laugh, Love” sign hanging in her home, and she may have a shirt or hat that says “Blessed” on it. Tough to explain, easy to spot.

I miss so much about the restaurant life right now, but I don’t miss her. She is picky, wants modifications on everything she orders, she prefers to use a coupon and has no qualms about expiration dates, and likely orders a water with lemon but has never put that lemon into the actual water. Somehow, Karen has learned that we were on to her. I would assume that since she has been in quarantine, and has nobody to cater to her every whim, she researched and found out we hate her. She found the memes. (Which are fabulous, by the way, unless you are Karen.)

So she made a meme herself, in defense of Karens everywhere, and said how demeaning it is, how it is bullying to call them Karens. She even went to far as to say it is the equivalent of using the “N Word.” She is starting a “NO KAREN” movement of sorts, and she wants to speak to the manager of the world, and Karen us into not calling her Karen anymore. How appropriate. She is saying that it isn’t very “Live, Laugh, Love” of us to make fun of her and her Ladies in Lularoe. I get that she is riled up, with her salon closed, her severe reverse bob is out of whack and the blonde streaks are getting dull. She is lashing out at herself, without realizing that is what is happening. It’s ok Karen, it will all be ok. I know the expiration date on that coupon has passed and it is burning a hole in your Michael Kors wallet. But you will be ok, that manager will be off furlough soon, and you can rip him a new one. I promise.

I can tell you that Karen is ok. She has become an expert on infectious diseases, and she is carrying her Ziplock baggie of Lysol wipes and has her Bath and Body Works sanitizer clipped securely to her purse. She has her best pair of black leggings on and has dry shampooed her hair and is visiting the stores that remain open. Karen’s gotta Karen, you know? I am just happy my interactions with her now last less than 30 seconds usually. I’ll tell her that her cart is sanitized, as she still wipes it down because she knows better than I do, she always has.

So Karen, you may be on to us. Yes, we have abused you in private service industry groups and pages. And until we see some changes in you, we will continue. There may come a new name, we haven’t met yet to discuss this, but we will. When you come out of quarantine, and haven’t changed your ways, we may come up with some new things for you. Stay tuned, as long as you exist, we will always Live, Laugh and Love together in a battle of wills.

*** I know a lot of wonderful people named Karen. To all of you, I want you to know, this isn’t you. It’s an unfortunate thing that your name got dragged into such an ugly compilation of ugly people. The people/person that named this “woman” had to use some name, and I am sorry if it ever brought any judgement upon you. I like you ladies, I just don’t like “that” lady.