What’s Up?

I haven’t been very active here for a while. Mostly because being a grown-up is too time consuming and my laptop acts up and won’t play along with my shenanigans. Makes for some big gaps, but it doesn’t mean my random thoughts haven’t been cranking. They are, and I may share a few here now.

It’s been a strange but good couple of months. I think. The time just flies by, and I am looking at another birthday in a week. I turn 53 next week, and I don’t even know how that has happened. It’s all good, I will always maintain that I would rather keep adding a few years than the alternative. It would seem that this year has started the process of reaching menopause, which may I say is about damn time. I am not looking for all the crap that goes with it, just the end of the monthly bill coming due. I have started having little hot flashes here and there. That’s fun, I get them at night more than any other time. If it gets interesting, I will write more about it, but I think that’s likely enough of that for the moment. We don’t need too many horror stories on a Saturday morning.

Birthdays tend to bring some nostalgia along with them. I get to thinking about people I have known over the years, and particularly the ones I miss the most. I have been incredibly blessed to meet many people over the years, and a large number of them are quite the characters. I did get to have dinner last night with one of my dearest and most favorite people in the world, my friend Lance, and his parents. He was my first love, my first boyfriend that was really a boyfriend, back in high school. We had a fabulous friendship, and we went out for a while in school, but it was better as a friendship for sure, but he will always be that nostalgic dreamboat for me. I love getting together with him, we laugh, we share our current lives, and after a few hours, return to our real lives. He is a touchstone person for me, and I like to think I am for him too, and even if we only see each other once or twice a year, it is like coming home each time we have that time. I know how lucky I am to have a person like that in my life, and as I am about to hit 53, I hope we carry on like this for many more years. We should all have someone that makes our soul smile.

It’s the get ready for holidays and winter time around here. I have the love/hate of this time of year. We have to cycle through it, but I don’t have to embrace it, you know? I like the holidays, but it goes quick and you can’t catch everything and everyone you want to, so a little feeling of disappointment comes along with it each year. I also hate the high expectations that people place on themselves this time of year, I just think it’s mentally unhealthy to try to make everything perfect. Don’t do that to yourself this year, if you tend to do it, because the people you love, love you regardless if everything is merry and bright or not. Remember to stop and enjoy the moments, they go quick and you can miss it if you are worried about the one ornament that slipped off the perfect spot on the tree.

It’s been quite a year, for me. I traveled this year, to Mexico and Alaska, and it seems I will be doing a little traveling this coming year as well. My fantastic employer is taking a bunch of us to Sint Maarten this coming January. Have I mentioned how lucky I am? Maybe blessed is a better word for it, but luck and blessings often travel together. I look back at the chain of events that got me to this place, and as awful as the pandemic was for people, it is only because of it that I stumbled upon this path. I see the connection between relationships and opportunities, but this is so much more than just that. I have really liked the word symmetry lately, because when you are watching and learning in life, you see many places where a symmetry must exist. It goes back to what I said before about luck and blessings hanging out together. Whatever it is, I am incredibly thankful for these chances I have been given. There are times I still feel like I am struggling, but I feel like there is a safety net at this point, which is an incredible feeling if you have never felt it before.

We are on the tail end of Thanksgiving weekend. I guess that is what I am doing today, being thankful for the life I have. There are many times I have not had a plan. Most of the time, really. I have always found a way through things, but I will be damned if I know how. I have had to have a lot of faith, in myself and God, to string it together. I try not to let worry cloud things too much, because as Tom Petty said once, most of the things I worry about never happen anyway. I see the glass half full more often than not, which is not a bad place to be, really. I spend too much time seeing people and their self-doubts on social media, and in life. I don’t want to be that way, and when I can count the blessings, that stack is much taller anyways. As we wind up the Thanksgiving part of our fall, look at the abundances you have in life, because they are many. I have more than I could have ever thought possible, and I did all of it. I have gotten here, and as I look to close my 52nd year here, I feel good, and I know there is much love, and so much more life ahead that will be great.

I will try to post again soon, laptop willing, and I hope all of the holidays and stuff coming along soon fill you with joy, not anxiety or stress. It is a time to reflect and build for the next year coming, not count regrets or have self-doubt. Build on the dreams, don’t worry about things you cannot control. You will do great, I just know it.

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