August is a tough month in my family. I do not know how one month can gang up on a particular group of people, but it does, and I hold a big grudge about it. Mostly it started back in 1990, when at the end of August my dad, Ed, died unexpectedly. That’s a big black mark. Then it just rolled from there.

August 14th, 2000 was the day we lost my mom, Mary Jane. Mom was a great lady who had been through far more in her life than was even close to fair. The main thing was her struggles with mental illness. I am not one to skirt around how much that affected her, and therefore us as kids. It led to years of her physical health declining, she was a smoker for many years. So in 2000, mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. It isn’t fair to say that cancer is what took mom, but it was because of the diagnosis. She ended up having a mastectomy that unfortunately she was not healthy enough to endure. She passed away from complications after that surgery. We went through a lot with this, she wasn’t herself after the surgery, and we had to fight to keep her hospitalized. They wanted to send her to a nursing home to rehabilitate, but we knew she wasn’t ready and got into it with hospital administrators to keep her there. She died there.

So, in her memory, every year on her birthday (May 31st) and the anniversary of her death, I go out to a local restaurant and have one of her favorite meals: Cheeseburger, no lettuce, with fries and a Coke. The no lettuce thing is a big deal- Mom had a way of telling servers more than they need to know, and she would always say she couldn’t have the lettuce because of her teeth. When I get people at the restaurant that give me their dietary issues as a part of their order, I always know Mary Jane is close by.

Back to August sucking. It was 5 years ago, while I was out having my Mary Jane tribute Cheeseburger, no lettuce, of course. I got a call from my sister, she had just heard that our step brother Tommy, had apparently had a heart attack in his sleep, killing him. Tommy had lived a rough life. He was diabetic, and had substance abuse issues. So now this sad anniversary has a ride-along. I don’t really know what Tommy’s favorite meal would have been, but he gets partial credit while I celebrate Mom, because who doesn’t like Cheeseburgers, no lettuce?

At some point, August will have something good to give us. It has to, that is just the way it is. This year is not that year, right away at the beginning of the month we got the news that our niece, Connie, had died of a heart attack. She was only 42. She too had a tough life and it wore her down physically as well as mentally. Her passing is sad, but her soul can know some peace now, probably for the first time. Some of our family will have a small amount of time to say goodbye to her today. She wanted no funeral, and the family is abiding by her wishes. So if you are the praying type, say one for her, and tuck one in for my family. It’s been 2 weeks since she passed, but there has been a little turmoil getting her this far, and now she gets a little piece of August 14th too.

I want to bring this back around to a happier tone, and at the heart of it is love. Lots of love exists in my world. To lose people and hurt means you loved them very much. And that love doesn’t go away just because you lost that person. I carry these 3 beautiful people with me, they are a part of who I am along with all of the people I still have. August cannot take that from me. I won’t let it. So this evening, I will head out for that delicious Cheeseburger, no lettuce, fries and Coke. (Pepsi is ok, if it has to be that way.) I get a lot of joy out of that meal each year, it calls back to better times with good people. Loss is a part of life, but thankfully, so are cheeseburgers.

It’s kind of tough to decide which of the many things swirling around my brain I should share here. Now that I gave myself a forum, it’s just overwhelming! Start at the beginning? Sure…

I am a middle aged woman, tough to admit, harder to deny. I will be 50 in a few months. I live in the town where I was born, a pretty nice little place. I live with my crazy dog, Zelda. She runs the show, lets me feed her and spoil her. As it should be. I am sure anyone who cares to follow along here will grow to know and love the Z-dog, I promise she is a better reason to read than I could otherwise provide.

I work in a Mexican restaurant, for 9+ years. The staff is like family to me, as are many of my regular customers. I have always worked in the service industry, since I was 14. It is a part of me and most days I couldn’t dream of doing anything else. A love/hate thing like many people have for their jobs, but at least I leave with cash every day.

I am a single woman, I can’t tell if I have bad luck in love or good luck in general. I see and hear a lot from people in relationships, it’s a tough thing no matter how much you love someone. I am not down on love, I remain forever optimistic the chance for it will come along. I am hanging in there, over here. I know a lot of happy people, so I know it can happen.

So as I get closer to the 50 I hope to share some of how I got here. The losses I have experienced, the people I have met, and some of the fun stories my life and my job have given me.  I have also recently started to change my outlook on my physical health, which has been very much a reason to start this too. Weight loss, building strength both physically and mentally have been a revelation for me. I never thought I could change. I want to give others a reason to believe they can too.

I don’t know what to expect as this unfolds, it’s a growth pattern I hope to continue and bring you with me. Plus I will add pictures of my dog. 😉

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde.

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

• Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
• Because it will help you focus you own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

• Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
• What topics do you think you’ll write about?
• Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
• If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

For a few years now, people have been urging me to start a blog. I kind of resisted for a long time, figured whatever I wanted to say I can get on to Facebook. And I do, and everyone keeps saying “Start a blog!!” Alright people, you wore me down. You get what you ask for. I don’t have real agenda other than sharing what I live from one day to the next. No manifestos here, no secret or hidden plan, just get it out of my head and into the powerful and mighty interwebs.

I hope you will follow along, I hope I say something that means something to anyone at all. Otherwise, I at least will keep myself entertained.

I look forward to this little journey. I work in the service industry, so I have plenty of material just from that. I come from a fairly big family, they provide material all the time too. And just about everything else I come across is fair game too, it’s just my life, and I want to give some of it to you.