Halloween is coming in HOT!! I love Halloween, and all the costumes and fun that goes with it. I just kind of suck at it, that’s all.

I know so many people that are great at the Halloween thing. My friend Amy is a star when this holiday rolls around. She does the makeup and costume thing, every year. She buys out the fake blood and scars on November 1st each year and has an impressive stash of gore. I am completely jealous.

The neighborhood is pretty well decked out too. Lots of cool displays in the yards, gravestones, zombies, skeletons. I walk Zelda around and she give these yards a once over, marks a spot of approval and we go on to the next hay bale. It is impressive the work people put into it, the money they spend rivals Christmas stuff for sure.

I remember as a kid, one of the ladies in the neighborhood by Alicia Park would do a little Haunted House for us kids. It was pretty tame, but she would have treats and stuff. She would make up bowls of “brains” and “eyeballs” and squishy stuff for us to touch. She would do ice cream socials too for us in the summer. She was a neat lady, and it’s kind of sad more people don’t do things like that for neighborhood kids much anymore. Lots of creepers ruined it for these newer generations. But those were some good memories for me, for sure.

With all my love of Halloween, I just don’t seem to get it done too often. I usually have to work at some point, and dressing up is encouraged. But most of my co-workers don’t really do it anymore. It is kind of tough, in a restaurant. You want to wear something fun, but you also have to be able to move and function and not have bandages hanging into people’s refried beans. I am sorry my bloody scar got in your guacamole, sir. I have a lame fallback “costume” I usually bust out, a referee shirt and whistle. Then I wear that, see other people in costume and have total Halloween envy.

I don’t decorate much either. One year I bought a pumpkin, and didn’t get around to carving it, Zelda kept trying to pick it up and carry it around the house. I have some Halloween decorations in a box somewhere, but by the time I get around to getting it out, it’s about November 3rd. Oops. But I do appreciate all the effort others go to for Halloween, there is some fun stuff out there!!

I do like to give out candy to the kiddos that Trick or Treat around the neighborhood. It is fun to see how excited they are to wear their princess costume under their winter coat mom made them wear. Staying warm is important little Ninja guy, sorry your mom sucks. (Just kidding, this is life in Wisconsin at the end of October!!) Zelda is not so fond of the Trick or Treaters, she wants to eat all of them. So she stays inside, barks her head off and I sit outside handing out the goods. I don’t buy the cheap candy either, no Smarties here, just good quality Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Snickers. You can’t risk having leftover candy you wouldn’t want to eat. One year I bought some Almond Joys, to protect myself from eating them. They are probably still around here somewhere too. Gross coconut candy.

I think it is embracing your inner child, participating in the merriment of Halloween. People want to revisit that sometimes. And I think it is great. We run around being icky grownups all year around, it’s so overrated. You get caught up in it, and it should be a fun holiday. No real stress. The people that turn out the lights and pretend not to be home are missing out. Their loss, it is fun to get those kiddos hopped up on sugar. Go out and hit up a Haunted House or something, do a corn maze or pick a pumpkin up for your dog to move on you. Enjoy the fall weather and the goblins. The next holidays that come up are high stress for many people, so have some fun on this one. It isn’t just for the kids, it’s for all of us!! Happy Almost Halloween!!

Have you ever thought of writing your younger self a letter, from your current self, letting that child know it will all be ok? I just read an online one from a news personality to his 12 year old self, regarding his coming out. (Going back to Friday’s blog just a little bit.) It was sweet, and it said all the right things that a 12 year old boy who suspects he is gay would need to hear. And his story is wonderful, it all came out well for him, so far, and that 12 year old should know that. Lucky kid!

It would be sweet if it really worked that way. Marty McFly got to learn it would probably be ok, riding back in forth in the DeLorean. A few factors here and there, something might change, but Biff will likely end up detailing your dad’s car. But I don’t know that you can ever truly reassure your younger self. I wish…

I remember a few times vividly where I hoped everything would get better. Most of those times revolved around our mom, her mental illness, and how my dad could or would eventually save the day. Being fairly introverted back then, there wasn’t ever any real conversations I recall having with anyone, because nobody ever really asked. So to be able to revisit that young girl I would love to tell her it would work out, kind of. Because some of it did, but then a lot of it didn’t in the long run. Fairytale endings are hard to come by out in the real world, especially when you sprinkle in family mental illness. Grasp on to those good times, young Carol, they will get you through, I want to tell her.

I think I would really like to tell 20 something Carol a few things the most. She was the biggest mess of the bunch, really. She wasted a lot of time and money on guys that didn’t deserve the efforts, jobs that didn’t really respect her skills and gifts, and therefore she spent too much on beer and trying to feel better about all of the previous crap. But she would be unlikely to listen anyway. She was confused, lost and didn’t have a guiding light she could recognize. It was there somewhere, she just wasn’t looking the right way. I tell people all the time you couldn’t pay me money to go back to my 20s. There was a lot to learn from it, but I am happy it is in the old rearview mirror.

Thirtysomething Carol wasn’t so bad, but she was pretty good at wasting time too. And money. They like to go hand in hand. I would tell her to slow down a little, it goes by fast as hell. Also start taking care of yourself a little better, late 40s Carol will thank you. She didn’t, and now late 40s Carol is a little ticked off. The situations improved a little, here and there, but 30s Carol was still a pretty solid knucklehead.

Fortysomething Carol is still a work in progress, for a month and a half yet. So her letter from Future Carol has to wait a little bit. But she has rebounded some, financially she is a little smarter, but still has to impose online shopping bans on herself, like maybe this week. Her love life is still a mess, but the casualties aren’t piling up at an alarming rate anymore. She isn’t very worried looking forward, because she finally takes better care of herself, although she worries that the fine folks at Miller Brewing have had to cut back on overtime shifts. Getting older is a privilege, she knows that a lot better now because of those who didn’t get to from those younger years. She is doing ok, I think really Young Carol would like to know that, I hope somewhere in the universe she sees it.

A little trip going backwards is an ok thing to do now and again. It is just important to remember to not look back for too long. You cannot undo what is behind you. Sure I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time, particularly on the guys who ended up not being worth it. But all along the way, that girl learned some stuff. Wisdom is built over time, you can’t go out and buy it wholesale. You have to earn it. If you think writing that “letter” to your younger self will help you reconcile some things, go ahead, and do it now. It’s a sweet idea. Besides, the kids in your life now probably aren’t ready to listen to your old self anyway, even though you should keep talking to them. But the sum of all your years will benefit you the most if you can pay attention to what you learned along the way. Forgive your younger self for not knowing what you know now.

I hope your Sunday is lovely, just like you. Late Fortysomething Carol said so.

A friend of mine posted this morning that it is National Coming Out Day. I believe it is to be supportive of young people thinking about “coming out” to their family and friends, which is a big deal for so many young gay individuals. So many are afraid of the reaction, of being rejected by those that are supposed to love them the most. And that happens, unfortunately. The shock of learning your child is homosexual might be more than some people can accept. How sad, for all of them.

Another person I know told me this week that their grandson had “come out” because of some text messages they had accidentally seen on his phone. They had suspected for a while that he was gay, he just hadn’t told them yet, but kind of got pushed to it. It sounds like it was ok, they had a discussion and while it will take a little time to adapt to the idea, I believe it will be a good situation, for all of them. It was hard for grandma in a way, but she is very accepting, I think she was just a little caught off guard. She worries about the fact they are Catholic, and how that will affect him going forward. I told her everything will work out how it should, don’t worry. And to pray if she feels it will help her find the peace for all of them.

I had a very good friend “come out” to me a number of years ago. We were in our late 20s, and I had wondered for a long time about him. He had dated women forever, he really did give being “straight” a fair shot. Which means he denied his true self for a long time. He found a great guy, and they are together still, and finally married. His husband had a hard time coming out to his family. It was a big rift in their relationship for a long time. I don’t know what finally changed, but it was a stress for my friend for a number of years. The whole relationship seems so much better now, which is fantastic, I want them to have that happiness.

My heart really aches for the people who have to deny who they are, because they are worried about how their families will take the reality of their sexuality. I would want anyone in my life to know they have all the support in the world from me, no matter who they are attracted to, unless they are a giant douchebag. I won’t stand for that, and no one should.

Support. What does it mean to you? In this case it means that you have to have the ability to accept something you might not understand. It takes some faith. It has been a hard road for a lot of these gay kids to accept that they are “different” than their friends and family. A lot of them don’t make it, suicides are very high among teenagers that are gay or transgender. Depression and mental illness, a lot of drug and substance abuse. I don’t know how it feels, most of us don’t. So when they come to their family, looking for that support, it might take a little faith to support them. But you should. Find a way past how you feel, and consider how hard it was for them to come to that place in front of you where they bared their soul. I would hope you could find a way to feel honored that they trusted you so much that they came to you with their biggest life story.

I always hope for the day when people won’t have to “Come Out.” That they can live their lives with a respect for their true self from the moments they understand they are gay. That they can be who they are, no matter who they are with. I understand I may not see that in my lifetime. But I have seen marriage equality, and for my friends that spent a lifetime together and can finally be married and miserable like heterosexual people makes my heart sing!!! There is hope for the next generations coming up and coming out. I love to think of myself as an ally, a person that can be supportive even if I don’t always understand. I just want people to be happy, be with someone who loves them and will have the love and support of their family and friends.

On this National Coming Out Day, if someone comes to you and tells you their story, be kind, listen, and give them a big hug. It was harder for them than it is for you to hear it.

Ellen DeGeneres is all over Facebook this morning. Apparently she was sitting with George Bush at the Packers’ game in Dallas the other day. And some of her fans were questioning that, because of all of his stuff from back in the day. We all know it, so no sense dragging that up. She addressed it on her show yesterday. She said that when she says to Be Kind to Everyone, she means everyone, not just those who think like you do. And I just love that. We aren’t always getting a lot of that these days.

I like Ellen. I don’t get to watch her show too often, but she is incredibly funny, and she has a great way of dealing with all kinds of people. She comes across as someone you know. Like she could be your friend, if she just had access to you. But that message of kindness, that carries a lot of weight. Not like a burden, but like a beacon. Something to aim towards and follow until you get there. You come to it over time, and it isn’t always easy, but it is possible. Some people make it difficult, I find that a lot working with the public. I have to often stop and remind myself that it isn’t me they are being unpleasant to, just the world that they feel is being hard on them.

What does kindness mean? How do you “do it?” Well, there isn’t just one way, to be honest. It can be as simple as smiling at someone as you pass them. Opening a door for someone at the store. Some people like a grander gesture, like paying for the car behind them in a drive-thru. But it isn’t just that, I don’t think. It is the way you carry yourself. I try to walk by people with my head up, making eye contact and giving a wink or a smile to people. But some people don’t look back, so they might have needed that more than others, but for whatever their reason is, they didn’t receive the smile. That doesn’t mean I chase them down and say “See me smiling at you!!!” But keep moving on to the next person. Keep trying.

Last night was a slower night at work, which ended up to be a blessing, because one of my regulars needed an ear. Personal family stuff, not my place to discuss it here, but I listened. And that was a kindness. She needed a few words, and I gave her that. It was just reassuring her, because she knew what the right thing is, she just wanted the time to tell it and to get a hug. That’s free, I can give that type of kindness all day long. And she left feeling better, and I felt great knowing I could give that to her.

People walk through life with happiness, worries, fun thoughts and stress, all at the same time. We are emotions, feeling joy and sadness, elation and crushing weight, and many things in between. You can never know what a person feels, unless they explain it to you and even then it is hard to grasp at times. If a person comes across as crabby, out of sorts, there is likely something that caused that mood. Just like when someone is happy, something makes that happen too. You find a way to get through each of those situations. But if someone outside of yourself offers you a kindness, it will help. If it lifts a burden, even for only a moment, it has an effect that can ripple like throwing a pebble in a pond. It spreads out, and goes on and on.

I lost Ellen somewhere in all of this. But what she said matters. Kindness matters. She watched a football game with George Bush. She watched the Packers triumph over the Cowboys, so she saw something good. I doubt either of them were interested in solving their political differences over nachos and beer in that moment. And that is what I take from it, really. I was writing about sports the other day. I love the sporting events, you can sit next to any random person, and the two of you can be as different as day and night. But in that window of a game, you will not think about who you voted for, what SOB is doing what in Washington, or who is marrying each other. You are in the moment, watching the game. We can be together at a game every day, if we stop and remember that we are all fans of this life. When you order your beer, you help the guy next to you pass the money and beer back and forth, and never worry about the exchange. A little kindness can do that in the real world too.

And at the end of the day, when the Packers win, the kindness carries through, I hope for all of you. So please disregard any memes I shared after the game, that was not my display of kindness, just sharing my joy. But after that, Be Kind, always. Ellen said so. I guess I did too. Enjoy your day.

It has come to my attention that I may not know myself as well as I think I do. It really is a shock to me. Not exactly earth shattering, but a foundation shaker, to be honest.

I was having a conversation on Monday night at work with some of my regulars. We were talking about the Brewers’ Wild Card game coming up Tuesday night. We talked about what a fantastic September they had played, and injuries and their chances. And the lady says to me “Wow, baseball really must be your favorite sport.” I said, I really love football, but yeah, I like baseball. You know, me and my Packers!!

The Brewers go on to play, and lose, their Wild Card game on Tuesday night. I was upset, kind of devastated for a little bit. But I quickly reconciled myself to it, they had so many injuries, it had been a hell of a push at the end of the season, but maybe it was for the best. A series against LA would have been tough, and I just told myself it was ok.

Wednesday afternoon I am at work, talking to another couple about the Brewers and the season. How I came to terms with the season being over, but yeah, I was bummed. And the woman says to me “Wow, you really know a lot about the Brewers. Baseball must be your favorite sport!” What? But, but my Packers. Football. I um, uh… Huh.

When I was a kid I like sitting and watching football with my dad. Lots of cussing and being upset, mostly him, not me. I didn’t really know what was going on, and he didn’t explain it much. I just liked the time with Ed. But as a kid, I did play T-ball. I was on a team for 3 years. We were pretty good, we won the city championship all 3 years I played. So I did know baseball a little better. Not much though, when we were at one of our celebration parties, my coach came up to me and told me I had led the team in RBIs that season. I had to ask my brothers what that meant. I mean, I got that it was a good thing because Coach was excited to tell me, but I was all hopped up on a sugar buzz, we were eating ice cream like someone was going to take it away from us.

In the early 80s the Brewers were playing really well. They made the World Series, and lost to the Evil Cardinals. I remember being so upset, with my brothers. At that time, the Packers were awful. So bad. I wasn’t really into them much back then. In high school, I paid attention to the Crew, but started liking football a little more. But face it, teenage girls have much more to worry about than sports. Boys, clothes and makeup were a priority.

In the early 90s, the Packers started to improve, and they got my attention and held it. Like I became a nut job for football and really focused on learning the game. I found a way to games through the seasons as it all came together for them. When they went to the Super Bowl in the ’96 season, I had to be in New Orleans. I couldn’t afford to go to the game, but I was jagged on Bourbon Street like the ultimate fan I was!!! FOOTBALL!! My favorite sport ever!!!

I do love football. I own Packers’ stock, I call Lambeau Field my own Disneyworld. I have owned yellow pants, green and gold eyeshadow, and so many shirts.

It was a shock to me to learn that I might just love baseball more. And when I thought about it, these casual observers of my sports addictions might just be correct. Breaking it down to the game, not the teams, but the game itself. Baseball is methodical, it follows a certain rhythm, and it takes patience to watch and to play. Football is more chaotic, it is faster and it takes patience to watch as well. I don’t really like comparing them, because they both draw me in each year. But at the end of the day, I do think I might just prefer baseball. It hurts to admit it.

My whole belief system has been rocked. I thought I was a football guru. But as nobody knows what Pass Interference is anymore, I no longer know myself. I can’t explain it or the Infield Fly Rule, but maybe, just maybe I do have a baseball shaped heart. Maybe football season is just a way to get me back to baseball season. Sigh. I thought I had it all figured out.

Either way, my Packers and my Brewers have my heart. I will always love and support them. Even as they break my heart, or make it soar, depending on the season. I will sum it up this way: GO SPORTS!!!

Hey, have I mentioned how much I love my gym? Because they gave me another reason this morning, an unexpected honor came my way!

We work pretty hard every day at FIRE, if you want results you have to. And we get little rewards as well as all of the support and high fives. When you hit certain milestones you get a band to commemorate it! 25, 50, 75, 100, you get the idea. I have all of my bands, and the 300 t-shirt and 365 mug. I earned all of them, and I am on my way too the 500 trophy, coming soon I hope!! It’s a way to keep us engaged, showing up and working hard. Recognition, everyone likes to be recognized and appreciated.

Today I got a special award: Rockstar of the Month!! What is that? It is ultimate recognition of hard work, and being a supportive person to all of my FIRE Family!! It says I show up, and get it done!! I have been there for almost 20 months, hard to believe it has gone by so fast!! And now I am a ROCKSTAR!!!

I don’t know what kind of fortune or fame this will bring. They will post it on Facebook, so I assume the offers will come rolling in after that. I may have to schedule special appearances and sign autographs. I may need an agent. But I will never forget everyone who helped me get here, to this lofty perch where I stand, sweaty, smelly and gross, hoisting my Rockstar Energy Drink for all to see!!!

But what it means to me, really? That I have come a long, long way from that girl who walked in 20 months ago. I havelost many pounds, gained muscle and confidence. And a group of people who lift me up every single day. People who I want to see succeed almost more than I want to succeed. I found a family there, and they are every bit a group of Rockstars with me.

So I am thankful, to the team at FIRE for seeing me, leading me, helping me and most of all believing in me. Anyone can change their life, but to do it successfully I believe having people to cheer you on will expedite the process. It’s how it has worked for me, and I can not express how grateful I truly am.

From one Rockstar to all of you Rockstars, believe in yourself and lift up those around you. You too can be signing autographs with me after camp!! Bring your own pen.

I got a Facebook group invite the other day from Hans, the Big Guy from FIRE. It’s to participate in Sober October. I joined the group, to see what was up (that’s how they get you, you know!) and it is as billed: Stay sober for the month of October, not a drop of alcohol. The month with Halloween? Yep. It’s football season, you know that, right? Yep, no booze. Huh. I have a wedding in a week and a half, if I drink that day, but stay sober one extra day in November, can I have that day? Nope, I got a solid NO from the Evil Mind that invited me.

I can stay sober for a month, I have done it before, even if it wasn’t my idea. I used to do it all the time when I was like 8. How hard could it be? I used to be a pretty big drinker, when I worked more night hours and it was the thing to do after a shift. So it was almost everyday. It is a big part of the service industry culture. Get done with work, spend all your tips on drinks, shots and get home , sleep in, do it all again the next day. It’s a vicious cycle, but you convince yourself that it is a lot of fun and well deserved after all the crap you take on a shift.

Things started to change for me a few years back, and it was a slow transition. I was working more day shifts, so getting jagged at night and getting up in the morning became too much of a hassle. But it was hard getting over the idea that I was missing out on the “fun.” What is everyone up to? Who is out drinking and where are they? Staying home saved me a ton of money, but I felt like I was missing all the action. But as time went by, and I had changed jobs, I was out at night less and less.

Don’t get me wrong, I still got out plenty, and we give it pretty good when I do go out. (See me during the Mile of Music, for example!) But it wasn’t always fun, it kind of was a chore sometimes. Party Carol still exists, but she picks and chooses her spots a little better these days. I spend that time with people I want to be with, not just who got off shift at the same time as I did. Growing up is weird, you know?

So I come back to the idea of Sober October. There isn’t a ton of stuff on my social calendar this month, other than that wedding, that would be a huge temptation for me. And I think I can do the wedding sober, if I steer clear of certain people while I am there. But I admit I am an easy target too, avoiding peer pressure was never truly my strong point. And I tend to drag people with me when I go down. Again, talk to my poor brother Mike on the Friday morning of Mile of Music weekend, although he is a more than willing participant of my Thursday night overachieving!

Today is September 30th. I have less than 24 hours to commit to this. I do think I am going to give it a try. I am a stronger person than I was a few years ago. I know I do not have to drink to have a good time, I just like to. And the people around me will support me in doing this if I do commit. That is a nice thing about growing up a little too, people are more supportive in any way they can be, because they would appreciate it too. The worst case scenario is, I don’t make the whole month. There is no penalty for this, I think. Although knowing Hans he will find me and make me do burpees or Fire Bombs or some horrific thing like that. I have my ways of getting even with him, however. Maybe his next Skinny Margarita in November isn’t so “Skinny!”

Whatever challenges you are presented with, I hope you give yourself the chance to accept it. You can grow, and learn about yourself. Even if you fail, if you tried, you can hold your head up and know that you met it, instead of running from it. There is a lesson in every victory, and every failure. But if you give all your effort to something, it is never really a failure. Sober October, here I come!!

I usually write my little birthday tribute to this special woman on Facebook, but now I have this platform, that I paid to be a part of, so here is where it happens!!

My stepmom, Dar, was born on this day. September 26th. I feel bad I forget what year, but she was a few years younger than Dad, so let’s say around 1938? I am sure someone from my family can jump in and correct or confirm that. She liked reminding Ed that she was younger than him, so I am going with that. Dar has been gone from our lives a long time, and what she brought to my life, and my family could never be forgotten.

I was 10 when Dar married Ed, and as a clueless 10 year old, I wasn’t real sure what was going on. I think they didn’t exactly abide by the 6 month waiting period for getting married after Dad divorced Mom, they went to Michigan (The UP, the cooler part of Michigan) and just had a small thing, we weren’t involved. In fact, I don’t really even recall when I found out. Doesn’t really matter, it was a good fit for him, and ended up being for us too.

I was eleven when I really started getting to know Dar better. We had a tough situation growing up, I have mentioned that before and likely will again. Dar was in an odd situation, most of her kids were grown and gone except her youngest son, Tommy. She all of a sudden married a guy with 6 kids, most of us still around, and needing parenting. Dar would bake cookies with us, take us around here or there. In an effort to know me better, she used to take me up to the old bingo hall in Oneida, before they built the casino and stuff. She was sneaking me in, sort of, I wasn’t really old enough. The bingo sucked we never won, but the time we spent driving up and back was the good stuff, we sang Air Supply songs.

I had the horrific experience at 11 of getting my first period at a slumber party. The mom helped me out with that in the morning. I remember Dar was picking me up from that party, and I told her what happened. She took care of things, we stopped and got what I needed. I am sure I asked her not to tell Dad, and she said of course. I know she did, but in that moment she was my confidant. I don’t know how I would have handled that had I been around Mom, her situation at the time was fragile, and I am forever grateful I had Dar to help me out back then. Heroes don’t always wear capes, as they say.

We had some rough patches, kids and adults do, it’s the law. But overall, Dar was a good person who got a little more than she bargained for when she fell in love with my dad. She was almost done raising kids, she wanted a better life than she had lived to that point. She did get that, it just was a little complicated. She was a godsend to me, at the age I was at. She helped teach me things about cooking, cleaning, laundry and being a part of a family that we weren’t getting with Mom, because although she wanted to, she just wasn’t able to do that for us. The years we had with Dar made us who we are today. I know how lucky I am to have had her in my life.

Happy Birthday Dar!! I hope your golf game has improved in Heaven, it almost had to, right? I hope the cribbage hands are going your way, since Greg joined you there I have been worried about that. I miss the kitchen on Railroad Street every single day, because in our family that is where the magic of being a family happened. We had it all for a while, and you were the integral part of that. I owe you so much more than a little tribute, I don’t keep a house the way you did, but I know how to thanks to you. I think about you every day, and I know you and Dad are having that life you dreamed of in a much better place.

Lots of love to you, always. Annie.

As an adult, most of the time you have to work to get it all done. Forced to leave your home each day and go deal with the Real World. It can be ok, but doing other stuff always sounds better. In order to make work tolerable, you develop your “Work Family.”

I have a big work family, because it isn’t just the people I work with, although I certainly think of them as my family. I spend more time with these people than I do my own family, I think that is true for a lot of people. I have a bunch of very regular customers who have become my family as well. Particularly my Monday night gang, but I have others I just love to see walk through the door any day of the week. That’s a thing you don’t get much of outside of the service industry, other than some retail jobs.

I am going to talk specifically about the Monday Night group. I work mostly day shifts, but I have always worked Monday nights at this job. So in 9+ years I have developed some relationships. I have Randy and Opal, they usually make it in first. They bring in vegetables from the garden for all of us, because she grows too many for the two of them. It is sweet, and very appreciated! And around holidays we get candy, and treats. If they won’t make it on a Monday night for some reason, they let me know ahead of time, so I don’t worry. Randy is having a sinus surgery today, and I am thinking about him, hoping it goes well and I will not worry if they don’t make it next Monday, he is supposed to take it easy after, although I doubt he will.

Then the group that sits at the bar, some eat, some don’t. Jaime comes in, and so do Charles and Monica, and Audrey and Jim. Audrey and Jim are an older couple, and he likes drinking his beer and watching sports while Audrey talks to everyone! She brought me some soup the other night, which was delicious!! When I had kidney stone surgery a couple of years ago, she came in a snowstorm to bring me soup and flowers to my house. I smile every time I think about it, my moms have been gone many years, it was nice to have someone fill that role a little bit.

Charles and Monica are fun. Charles is a Bears fan, but I can generally let that go most of the time. They have brought me candy too, and they are a hoot! When they come early enough, they have some good conversations with Audrey, and with Jaime too. All of them met through the Monday night family I am building.

My little family of Lori, Brian and Layton come in too, usually around 6:30. Lori and Brian have been with me on Mondays from the beginning. When they were expecting Layton 3 and a half years ago, I was on vacation for his due date time. They texted me on vacation when he arrived. That makes you feel like family! He is a pretty good kid, a little rambunctious sometimes, but he always makes sure I get a big hug before he goes home. They also will let me know when they won’t be in on a Monday. I have my regulars well trained.

There are several others that visit me on Mondays, and I appreciate them all so much. The treats and presents I get are a bonus, but they mean so much to me, that I am important to them. That they think of me when they aren’t at the restaurant. I know about their families, they share vacation pictures with me, I get to be a part of their life in a way.

People aske me how I have been able to do this job for so many years, because I sure do bitch about it some days. But it is simple, it is the people and the relationships I have gotten to be a part of. It is the best part of the gig. Going to work is not a huge chore for me most days. Leaving home to go be with my “family” makes coming home rewarding each day.

To my many friends, well, family I have made over the years at Solea and other restaurants, you have improved my life. You make me feel loved, and important. I feed you and get you a little jag on, but you give me so much more. Just let me know if you won’t make it for your “scheduled shift.”

I figure I should write something a little nicer today, instead of spewing my hatred of weird, cheap people I encounter.

It is the first day of Fall. I love fall, all the beautiful colors the trees and fall flowers give us, apple cider, sunny days with crisp cool nights. I am digging out the hoodies, although I haven’t had to wear one yet. I don’t love the shorter days, or that winter comes after this lovely time of year, but all the other good things make it ok, for now.

The women of the world are already donning their fall uniforms- Leggings with tall boots, tunic tops and a puffy vest. I have heard it called the Han Solo look. I feel it is a little early for all that, it hasn’t really been cold yet, but it is the Fall Uniform so who am I do condemn them? I wish I had longer legs, the taller boots kind of look silly on me. I am out of uniform most of the season.

Soon my sister-in-law Heidi and niece Natalie and I will venture out to the apple orchard, pick more apples than I could ever use, and eat a fresh caramel apple. I will buy fresh cider and add booze to it at home. Yummy! It’s a favorite fall tradition. Last year we were completely assaulted by those ridiculous late season mosquitos, but we still had fun after we choked on the DEET.

Then we get to Halloween, and not long after will be Thanksgiving. We celebrate our way through this fantastic season, and sprinkle in football games and big meals and candy. It’s fantastic, isn’t it? And maybe, just maybe my Brewers will extend their season too, making it an even more joyous season than it already is!!

As you can tell, I am a big fan of the Autumnal Equinox. I don’t love the winter that follows. Every year that passes I see the draw of being a Snow Bird, I just don’t have the required retirement age to do it yet, or especially the cash. But in the meantime, I will relish this season, and bitch about Winter when it is appropriate.

I hope you can take time to enjoy the colors, sights, smells and events of Fall. It is a glorious time of year. Take a drive to see the fall colors, eat a caramel apple, drink an Oktoberfest beer. Enjoy your days, nights and every season you are given. It is a Big Show the world puts on for us every 3 months, and they are worth enjoying, always.